As I laid
on the exam table,
the diagnostic
wand
slid over
the thick coating
of gel
on my neck.
As she captured
image
after image
I stared
at the patterned
ceiling tiles
as if they were
a map
of my existence,
and imagined
how it might feel
to fade away
into a darkness
and cease
to exist.

When it was over
and we were
alone
in the room,
I dried my tears
and told you
“For the first time
in my life
I finally
understand
the will to live.”

You then
drove me home
in the rain
stopping
only briefly
to pick up
a small
white paper bag
of indica.

 

 

©Elle Wonders 2017

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